I was so upset this afternoon that all I wanted to do was go home and eat a box of frozen tacos and chips and candy and whatever else I could get my hands on....but I didn't. I came home, made myself a cup of tea and waited it out. I stood in front of the pantry more than more and looked at my cereal and my granola and my noodles, and I didn't eat it. Today I only ate half a corn muffin (150 cal ish), coffee, assorted odds and ends at the Herb festival at school, and a small stir fry with a cup of rice and broccoli slaw. And except for when Jeff took me out for dinner the other day, I've been good like this all week. I learned that my trigger is my low self-esteem, and feelings of worthlessness. I don't feel any better, and I still want the tacos, but since I realize what is going on and I can stop it. Tomorrow I have strawberries and corn pones and more broccoli slaw with rice. I hope I can get through work on Saturday.

Today has been a good day so far. For breakfast I had a bowl of Special K, for lunch I had a vegan BBQ patty and some crackers, then I ate about ten Swedish fish. I have a nice salad for dinner. It's not really good, because of the Swedish fish, and the dressing I have for my salad is bad, and I had a couple of donut holes in class this morning, but I didn't eat a whole bag of potato chips or a box of tacos or anything! I even did a work out! Tonight I want to go to the store and buy some fiber supplements; I heard that they can help suppress appetite. Then I can go for a short walk. If I'm not in the house, I won't be tempted to binge!

Hopefully I can reschedule my therapy soon and talk to her about all this.

Don't try to find me, and I won't try to find you.